What is and What Shouldn't Have Been
by em2009
Summary: Takes place after Epi. 112805. What happens when the unthinkable tears us apart, can we be brought back together? A Ruthin Fic
1. It Could Have been different

What Is and What Shouldn't Have Been

Chapter 1

Background: Everything is the same as of Episode 11/28/05.

Disclaimer: I have nothing to do with 7th heaven, SADLY!

Ruthie walked into the kitchen. For the past few days she had been wondering around the house, just thinking about the fact that Martin never knew. Of course, being Ruthie, she had convinced him to say that he knew, but Ruthie knew Martin better that to believe him. She just couldn't get over the fact that Martin never knew that she liked him. She knew he was dumb sometimes, but this is unbelievable. Who knows, things might have turned out differently.

Martin seemed dazed. He couldn't figure out what to do. He had lied to Ruthie. "I thought I knew that she liked me, but I brushed it off because I was with Meridith." He couldn't believe that he didn't see it, because if he did things would have turned out differently, if Ruthie would've let them.

Please Review.

Luv,

Em


	2. Humanities and Homework

Chapter 2---- Humanities and Homework

First of all I would just like to say thank you to everyone who reviewed hope you like it!

Disclaimer: As always the only thing of seventh heaven I own, is nothing!

Ruthie's P.O.V

It seems like today has been the longest day ever, my schedule got changed to the new humanities class and Martin has been avoiding me since we talked in the kitchen last night, so the day is not looking to good.

"Ruthie come on the bell rang," Meredith said while waving her hand in front of my face. "I will see you after leadership class." OK bye I told her.

I walked into the classroom, about two seconds before the late bell rang, so I didn't get to choose my seat. The teacher, Mr. Phillips, introduced me to the class and told me to take a seat behind Martin. "Do you see the seats you are in now?" Mr. Phillips asked us. We all nodded yes. "Then you will sit in them for the rest of the year." Oh great, I thought to myself. That class went by very slow, considering the fact that Martin and I haven't spoken and I'm not saying anything to him, things are just too weird now.

Martins P.O.V

You know I didn't know that Ruthie liked me. I mean now that I do, I don't know what to do. She is Ruthie. I lived in a house with her, she is like my sister. I just don't know what to do. She isn't the girl I thought she was, but somehow that just keeps drawing me back to her.

"Martin do you know the page that the homework is on," Ruthie asked when the final bell rang to go home.

"Yea, it's pg. 331," I said a little startled that she was even talking to me.

"Ok thanks Martin," she said while walking off to go home. Considering the fact that I didn't have baseball practice I decided that I would have to talk to her sometime so now is as good of a time as any.

"Hey Ruthie, do you need a ride?"

"I don't think I can anymore," Ruthie said with tears welling up in her eyes.

UP NEXT

-Martin realizes his feelings for Ruthie. Will he confess them?

- The tragedy

Please Review.

Love always,

Em


	3. A Phone call and a visit

Hey you guys I'm really sorry about not updating, I have just been really busy, if you read any of my other stuff I hope to have it updated soon as well.

Chapter 3- A phone call and a visit

Ruthie's P.O.V.

I plopped on my bed, and turned on some music just wanting forget about the problem's of today and the problem's ahead of me. I really feel bad for what I said to Martin, but I just can't deal with him right now it's too hard. I just wanted to listen and sing along to my favorite song, and do some homework.

_I love the times and in between, the calm inside me in a space where I can breathe_

_This feels like heaven to no one else but me, and I'll defend it long as I can breathe_

_Questioned to linger in silence_

Just then the phone rang interrupting my silence, and my alone time.

"Hello," I answered a bit annoyed for being interrupted. There was no answer on the other end, but somehow I knew who it was.

"Mary, what do you want," I asked her mad for not calling sooner. Still there was no response. Untill I heard the voice, his voice. I was wrong I hadn't heard Mary crying in the background.

"Are you okay," I asked somewhat sympathetically knowing that he didn't just up and call me crying for any reason.

"Not so much," he replied barely audible and obviously balling.

"Oh my gosh what is wrong, please tell me," I pleaded with him.

"Ruthie, it's my dad," he said at his breaking point.

"Calm down, I'm sure everything is going to be okay just tell me what happened," I replied calmly.

"No Ruthie! It won't be alright my dad is…. He is dead… okay! He's not coming back and I have no one Ruthie, not my mom, not my dad, not even you, and not sandy or our baby. I don't know what to do. Without hesitation Ruthie hung up the phone, and ran over to the house she once knew so well where her best friend Martin Brewer resided.


	4. That's all I needed to hear

Chapter 4- That's all I needed to hear

Ruthie opened the door without hesitation, and ran into Martins room to see him on his floor gripping a photo of what once had been a family, his family.

At that moment a gentle hand was laid upon his back and he looked up to see his best friend and the person he needed the most right now.

"Martin," Ruthie said with tears pouring over and trying to initiate a hug. He let go of the photo he was holding onto and embraced Ruthie.

"Martin, what happened," Ruthie asked.

"His plane that was supposed…… supposed….. supposed to be com—ing into Glenoak this afternoon crashed and he didn't survive the crash," Martin said heartbroken.

"Oh my God Martin," Ruthie said as she pulled him even tighter.

"I just I can't even find the words to say, I have no clue how hard this must be for you, and I'm not going to pretend to know, I'm just so sorry," Ruthie said trying not to let her own emotions conflict with his.

Martin tilted her head up to see the big tears that she was so evidently trying to hold back. "Ruthie you can be sad, you know," Martin said releasing from the hug.

"No it's not, I didn't loose anyone, I need to be here taking care of you not myself," Ruthie said wiping away her tears.

"Ruthie, I don't need you to take care of me," Martin said. Ruthie looked sad. As bad as the situation was she hoped she could just spend a little time with Martin and maybe mend their relationship.

"O," she replied simply.

Their was a few moments of silence. Today had been so awful for Martin that he hadn't even begun to think of what to do next, he was just glad Ruthie was their to help him.

"Ruthie, what am I going to do," Martin said breaking the silence, with tears still flowing down his cheeks.

"My mom is dead, and my dad just died in a plane crash, my aunt can't even take care of herself and I am here all alone." Martin cried as he looked into those familiar brown eyes.

"You are right about all of that but not about the last part Martin, you have my mom, my

dad, my whole family, this community, our church, our school, and no matter what you will always have me. No matter how big of fight we are in, or how much I say I hate you, I will always be here for you Martin, always and forever. That's a promise." Ruthie said glad to be letting out what she had been feeling.

"That's all I needed to hear," he said wiping away his own tears, and those of hers that were left. They leaned forward, ready to give in to what was already seen by the rest of their world, but reality had to hit, her mom was calling.

"Martin, I have to go," she said as she broke away from what was going to be their first kiss.

"Ruthie, will you stay with me tonight," Martin pleaded.

"That's all I needed to hear," reciting his past used phrase.

They laid down on his bed, as he fell fast asleep and she watched him, just wishing she could make his pain go away even if it was only for one night.

I hope you guys liked this chapter. I tried to make it a little longer. Thank to all u guys who reviewed.

Haley: Thanks, I just really like that song. I couldn't remember the lyrics so I just wrote down the ones I could. Keep reviewing.

Love,

Emily


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